he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
