Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
