there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
