Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
