you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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