what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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