My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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