you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
