So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
