he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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