The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
