remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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