How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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