dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
