how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
