I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Congratulations! We have a period
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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