Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
