Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
