Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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