Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
