I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
so much tequila, so little girl.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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