I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
