Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
