It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
