Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
