I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
