I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
