hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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