So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
