FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
