Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
