In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
