So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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