Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
