I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
