I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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