My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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