What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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