you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
