Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
