its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
