Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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