This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
