dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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