I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
