I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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