Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
