So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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