dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
