Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
