what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
