I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
