found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
