how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
