You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
