we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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