Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
