Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
