ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
